I miss reading about athletes taking steroids.
I miss reading about athletes smoking marijuana.
I miss minor vices decorating the sports page like parsley on steak.
This week in sports has made me want to dive headfirst from a tall building into a small bottle of hand sanitizer.
While anyone possessing a thimbleful of sense knew that Ray Rice injured his fiancée in an elevator months ago, that awful story was made even worse this week as we learned of Roger Goodell and the NFL's incompetent handling of the crime, and as we saw Baltimore Ravens fans proudly wearing Rice's jersey on Thursday night.
With the Ravens game and their heinous fans out of the way, this weekend promised a respite from Goodell's tone-deaf defenses and Rice's vile defenders, as games involving other teams would briefly interrupt the flow of bad news.
Then, Friday afternoon, came the report that Adrian Peterson had been indicted on charges of reckless or negligent injury to a child.
I hoped it wasn't true. I hoped that if it turned out to be true, the child was uninjured.