Team names give hip, hip, hooray to hometown shortcomings

Cities tend to be proud of their professional teams. But increasingly, many of those teams are choosing nicknames that don't flaunt their area's best features, but, arguably, their worst.

Take, for instance, the Twin Cities ultimate Frisbee team. The Minnesota franchise in the American Ultimate Disc League is called the Wind Chill.

Ben Feldman, a team co-owner, had an explanation: "In Minnesota, we experience some of the most brutal windchill temperatures in the winter months, and we want our opponents to feel that very same pain when they step onto the field to play against us."

Fair enough. But what about the New York affiliate of Premier Ultimate League? With so many notable things to choose from in the city, the team picked … the New York Gridlock. Perhaps the logic is wanting opponents to feel pain similar to being stuck in rush-hour traffic.

Surely these teams could have done something nice for their tourism boards by trying to sugarcoat their nicknames? But it's the Miami Heat of the NBA, not the Miami Sunshine or the Miami Delightful Beach Weather.

And then there are the teams named after potentially deadly natural disasters endemic to their regions. The San Jose Earthquakes, the Colorado Avalanche, the Miami Hurricanes and the Iowa State Cyclones. What attracted you to Ames? The chance of a deadly twister!

And then there's the Chicago Fire of Major League Soccer, named after an event that killed about 300 people. Perhaps the name refers to something else? Nope, the soccer team's website notes that the nickname was revealed on the 126th anniversary of the famous fire.

The Atlanta Blaze of Major League Lacrosse, we're told, "has no allusion to the burning of Atlanta during the Civil War." Still, one has to wonder: Then where did the name come from?

Granted, like the Wind Chill, some of the nicknames are chosen for their potential to strike dread in the hearts of opponents. These include the University of Florida Gators and the Arizona Rattlers of arena football.

But that doesn't explain minor league baseball's Savannah Sand Gnats. The Island Packet, which covers news in Hilton Head, S.C., explains: "Sand gnats leave awful little welts where they rip skin to drink blood." Go, team!

The old XFL had several odd nicknames, including two that seemed to highlight their cities' history of organized crime: The New York-New Jersey Hitmen and the Chicago Enforcers.

At least one team has changed its name because of an unsavory allusion to a local problem. The Washington Bullets owner Abe Pollin became concerned about the apparent link of his NBA team's name to violence in a city that had struggled with violent crime. In 1996 he changed the name to the Wizards.

As teams seek more and more colorful nicknames to stand out in a crowded marketplace and sell merchandise, the trend of highlighting the worst of a region may continue. Perhaps we can look forward to the Los Angeles Mudslides, the New York Noise and the San Francisco High Cost of Living.