The List of Lists '08: Office

"M'yeah, I'm gonna need you to..." Gary Cole and Ron Livingston in "Office Space" (1999). When I think of the movie 'Office Space,' I think of...

1. "A case of the Mon-days"
2. TPS reports
3. "Pieces of flair"
4. "Damn It Feels Good to be a Gangsta"
5. O face
6. Stapler
7. A "Jump to Conclu-sions" mat
8. PC Load Letter
9. Lum-bergh
10. "Two chicks at the same time"

As soon as the boss steps out of the office I...

1. Get on the Internet
2. Text my friends
3. Quit pretending to work so damn hard
4. Turn up the radio
5. Go home
6. Get more done with less pressure
7. Take candy from his candy jar
8. Check Facebook
9. Smoke
10. Call my friends

Best downtown after-work happy hour

1. Brit's Pub
2. The Local
3. Kieran's Irish Pub
4. McCormick and Schmick's
5. Rossi's
6. The Imperial Room
7. Drink
8. The News Room
9. Pizza Lucé
10. Ike's Food & Cocktails

Subtle ways to annoy a co-worker

1. Cause a printer jam and walk away
2. Listen to voicemail on speakerphone
3. Clip your fingernails
4. Talk on the phone loudly
5. Click on the keyboard loudly
6. Eat crunchy things
7. Laugh loudly for no reason
8. Enter their office without knocking
9. Chew gum with your mouth open
10. Go into their office uninvited and stare out the window

Items that tempt you at the company vending machine

1. Twix
2. Snickers
3. Cheetos
4. Cheez-Its
5. Pretzels
6. White Cheddar Cheez-Its
7. T.G.I Friday's Potato Skins snack chips (surprisingly less evil than most!)
8. Milky Way
9. Sugary sodas
10. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups

Things I hate about my job

1. Not earning enough money
2. Working on projects I'm never proud of at the end
3. The gossip is like an old-lady knitting circle
4. Being treated like a high-schooler
5. My monitor is a 15-incher from 1990
6. Boredom
7. No window within 300 feet of me
8. My cubicle
9. Rarely a feeling of accomplishment at the end of a day
10. My boss sees everything I do on Vita.mn

Signs you work in an office

1. You know who is coming down the hallway by the sound of them walking
2. You know people who use background images and pink calligraphy fonts in their e-mails
3. You make frequent trips to the water cooler
4. You have to schedule everything in Outlook, including the occasional lunch
5. Your co-workers take 45-minute "coffee" breaks