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The Seattle Mariners have been your testicle injury leaders for close to 3 decades

Adrian Beltre apparently learned nothing from the previous generation of Seattle Mariners and suffered the same fate as Mike Parrott in 1980: a severely damanged testicle. (Cringe).

August 17, 2009 at 10:01PM
(The Minnesota Star Tribune)
(The Minnesota Star Tribune)

What you might have known is that Adrian Beltre (pictured, in happier times) suffered a severely bruised right testicle (OW! OW! OW! Noooooooooo!) in a recent game.

What you almost certainly didn't know is that 29 years ago, another Seattle Mariners player suffered the same fate -- against the Twins' Roy Smalley, no less. We have an unconfirmed suspicion that it wasn't actually a line drive, but rather a graze from 60 feet, 6 inches by Smalley's massive hair, but we'll let the Seattle Times do the heavy lifting:

Two other notable elements from 1980: Mike Parrott won on opening day for the Mariners and finished the season with a 1-16 record (and a ruptured testicle after getting, uh, beaned by a Roy Smalley smash; but that's another story).

A colleague alerted us to that Smalley-Parrott play and said he was at the game when it happened and that it was obviously not a pretty sight.

All of this is a long way of saying: why on earth would a player not wear a cup?

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about the writer

about the writer

Michael Rand

Columnist / Reporter

Michael Rand is the Minnesota Star Tribune's Digital Sports Senior Writer and host/creator of the Daily Delivery podcast. In 25 years covering Minnesota sports at the Minnesota Star Tribune, he has seen just about everything (except, of course, a Vikings Super Bowl).

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