Thirty things I’ve learned in three years as a Minnesotan

What’s it like to move from Oregon to Minnesota? For someone like me, a lifelong Oregonian, was the transition easy — or jarring?

The two states have a lot in common. Both boast some of the highest voter participation rates in the country. Residents here and in the Beaver State treasure outdoor recreation. And no one in either state seems to know exactly how to do the zipper merge on the highway — or cares to find out.

But in my three years as a Minnesotan, I’ve learned a few distinct lessons. Here are 30 of the biggest:

The North Shore rules. From the nature trails along Lake Superior to the Alpine Slide at Lutsen’s Eagle Mountain, there’s no shortage of activities, and the food is absolutely worth the trip (more on that later).

I learned the hard way not to book a campsite that’s available for a last-minute outing in the summer. Odds are it’s free because the mosquito situation is untenable.

The Minnesota State Fair may be the most wonderful summer festival in the United States. I’ve taken at least two groups of friends each summer and they always come away awestruck. The butter sculptures of Princess Kay of the Milky Way are a hit every time.

The Ice Maze at the Minnesota Ice Festival in Eagan is an absolute delight. Even if you get lost, there’s an interesting ice sculpture waiting for you at every dead end.

Halloween is my favorite holiday. While I was bummed that I couldn’t make it out to Universal Studios in Hollywood for Halloween Horror Nights — it’s much cheaper to fly there from Portland than from here — Anoka was a decent substitute. Some of the folks who participated in the house-decorating contest offered up some particularly good scares.

It’s nice to live in a city, Minneapolis, with a proper skyline. No offense to Portland, but there’s nothing quite like driving up Interstate 35W after a long road trip, catching a glimpse of the IDS Center and Capella Tower and knowing you’re almost home.

Pacific Northwesterners can get a little snobby when it comes to beer. But I’ve come to embrace Hamm’s as my cheap lager of choice. I’ll spring for a Grain Belt if I’m feeling a little fancier. But if I’m out at dinner, it’s Castle Cream Ale from Castle Danger all the way.

Y’all have got some legit pizza here, too. Portland may be one of America’s great pizza cities, but I’ll gladly chow down on a slice from Wrecktangle in Uptown or a personal pie from Punch Pizza in Roseville.

Let’s talk about Duluth again for a moment. Northern Waters Smokehaus should be considered a national treasure.

It’s best to temper your expectations when you try a Jucy Lucy for the first time. The novelty wears off quickly, but the tongue burns from an overeager first bite will last at least a couple days.

Oregonians don’t exactly have much to root for when it comes to sports. There’s the Portland Trail Blazers, Portland Thorns, University of Oregon football and ... that’s about it. So color me as surprised as anyone that I’ve become a fan of attending pro sporting events here. Here’s my ranking of each pro league in the Twin Cities, in reverse order of how much fun I’ve had as a spectator:

There’s something about living in the state that gave the world Prince and Bob Dylan that elevates them in my mind. Maybe I was radicalized by my visit to Paisley Park, but I recently updated my iTunes ratings for “Raspberry Beret” and “Let’s Go Crazy” from four to five stars.

I knew the Twin Cities had an impressive array of music venues, but it didn’t really sink in until I saw Beyoncé at Huntington Bank Stadium. I’ll never forget the awe I felt as the moon rose above the skyline just as Queen Bey segued into the second half of her set during the Renaissance Tour.

I’ve also discovered several local artists in the three years since I moved here. Annie Mack and Jillian Rae have found regular play in my household. But Nur-D takes the cake as my favorite Minnesota-based musician.

Lakes are the superior aquatic experience. As much as I love cruising down a cold Oregon river on an inner tube, nothing quite beats a sunny afternoon walking around Lake Harriet. Those lakeside trails pair well with an ice cream cone from Bread and Pickle.

Paddleboarding is awesome. I couldn’t muster the courage to try it in the Pacific Northwest because of the river currents; here it’s proven a relaxing pastime.

The Chain of Lakes might be the best place to recreate on the water in the Twin Cities. Every outing is like a choose-your-own-adventure book. Will you start off on Lake of the Isles and paddle to Cedar Lake and back? Or just do a lap around Bde Maka Ska?

Maybe it’s because I’ve logged less than half a decade here, but taking a stroll on a frozen lake is never anything less than magical. Here’s hoping it’s cold enough for the Luminary Loppet to fully take place on the ice this year.

I’ve learned to keep a pair of sunglasses in the car year-round. While the sun hides for much of the winter in the Pacific Northwest, it’ll outright blind you here as the rays bounce off the snow.

Call me Elsa (the princess in “Frozen”) because the cold never bothered me anyway. It turns out that all of the rain gear I amassed in Oregon works well in below-freezing temperatures. All I need is an extra wool sweater under my Columbia jacket.

“Minnesota nice” is anything but. It’s more like code for a particular brand of Midwestern passive aggression. Good thing there’s a fledgling campaign to replace it with something more genuine: Minnesota kind.

Shoveling snow is the pits. It gets easier as you learn how to do it more efficiently and know how long it’ll take, but it’s never a simple task. My aching back ...

Speaking of the white stuff, my imagination ran wild the first time I heard the term “plowable snow” in the forecast. “What do you mean — is there some kind of nightmare mixture of frozen water that’s immovable and unplowable?” I thought. It turns out “plowable” just means enough of it fell to justify dispatching the snow plows.

Finally, there’s no such thing as Midwestern superiority when it comes to driving in the snow. While the Twin Cities has better infrastructure to handle snowy roads, there are bad drivers everywhere. (I make a point of avoiding Lake Street in the winter.)

What am I missing? Are there any lessons to learn in Year Four in Minnesota?

A previous version of this story neglected to mention the Twins in the roundup of pro sporting events. Look, we all forgot about the Twins a bit this season, didn’t we?