To read this column, you leap atop your kitchen counter, shirtless, with tears streaming down your cheeks.
This is a column about the greatest victory in Timberwolves history, the reaction to that victory, and the reaction to the reaction to that victory.
If you are Charles Barkley, Shaquille O'Neal or Kenny Smith, you could not possibly understand what happened Tuesday night at Target Center.
Here's what happened: The Minnesota Timberwolves, one of the worst franchises in the history of franchises — worse even than Chi-Chi's — earned the most impressive victory in their woeful history.
They had their best team in 2003-04, but that team was built to be great, for at least a season, and it had Kevin Garnett, one of the greatest players of all time, and it was the No. 1 seed in the Western Conference.
The Wolves should have beaten Denver in the opening series, and they did. They should have beaten Sacramento in the second series, and they did, and they probably shouldn't have let it go to seven games. Then they lost to the second-seeded Lakers because Sam Cassell did something really stupid.
That team achieved. It did not overachieve.
Now it's time to address the second-best team in Wolves history, except there isn't one.