Twins' 10-game homestand was uneven, inexplicable and entertaining

When he managed the Minnesota Twins, Tom Kelly strove to maintain an "even keel.'' He might not have enjoyed this Twins homestand, which turned out to be the baseball equivalent of parasailing while exploring the psychic freedoms created by Minnesota's legalization of recreational marijuana.

Here's an incomplete recap of a 10-game homestand that had everything but Lew Ford ironing his shirt while wearing it:

Twins manager Rocco Baldelli got into a dugout argument with pitcher Sonny Gray.

Baldelli was thrown out of a game, then threw his hat to — we are not making this up — honor Ron Gardenhire, the preeminent hat-thrower in Twins history.

Joey Gallo earned as many ejections as RBI (1).

Byron Buxton broke an 0-for-24 streak, then hit three home runs in three games, including two in a row to start the Twins' 6-0 victory on Thursday afternoon at Target Field. He went from swinging at pitches he couldn't possibly hit to blasting two of his three longest home runs.

Reliever Jorge López went on the mental health injured list.

Center fielder Michael A. Taylor got hit by a pitch in the back of the head.

Baldelli emphatically stated that Buxton, the best center fielder in baseball, is nowhere close to playing center field.

Carlos Correa, criticized for poor production per dollar, led the team in hits and RBI on the homestand despite playing with plantar fasciitis.

Some jerk suggested that the Twins trade struggling right fielder Max Kepler for Tigers assistant hitting coach James Rowson, then Kepler went 4-for-11 with a double and two home runs in his next three games.

The Twins' first four victories on the homestand went to Josh Winder, Bailey Ober, Brent Headrick and Jovani Moran. If you bet that superfecta, you just won $18 billion.

Joe Ryan pitched the Twins' first complete-game shutout since April 1, 2018.

The Twins inexplicably won two against a contending Brewers team, lost three of four to a terrible Tigers team, lost two straight to an average-but-improving Red Sox team, then salvaged a 5-5 homestand by beating the Red Sox twice in 20 hours.

After losing five of six from Friday through Tuesday, and convincing Twins Territory that their team would be relegated to the Northern League, the Twins left town Thursday in first place, feeling they had survived a test of their resolve.

Kelly, and most managers, believe in preaching an "even keel'' approach because the opposite is emotional chaos. Baldelli admitted that this homestand created the kind of tension baseball teams try to dismiss.

"Yeah, I actually have felt that,'' he said. "You know, we win in some extraordinary fashions early on. We played some good baseball to start the homestand, then we went into a funk for the middle part of the homestand …

"We come out [Wednesday] and we won another emotional-type of game, a hard-fought, walk-off win against a team that's playing good.

"You get to the last game and it's like, well, how's this thing gonna end? None of us know.''

Asked after the game how different the feeling in the Twins' clubhouse was compared to 20 hours previously, Baldelli said: "Polar opposite. A 180-degree turn. Whatever analogy you can possibly come up with.

"The truth is, being able to handle both [extremes] is the most important part of our game over the course of a full season.''

As Buxton said, "That's baseball.'' It's the only sport in which elite athletes routinely go into unfathomable slumps.

Steph Curry doesn't forget how to shoot. Patrick Mahomes doesn't forget how to throw. In baseball, almost everyone temporarily misplaces their motor skills a few times a season.

Earlier this week, the Twins looked like they viewed baseball as a form of invasive dentistry. When they headed to the airport on Thursday afternoon, they were calculating the total distance of their home runs, having watched their starting pitcher hug his catcher in front of the mound while receiving a standing ovation to end the season's most turbulent homestand.

Are you not entertained?