The Vikings have a long history of losing to quarterbacks you've never heard of. Throw in their Miami drought and a grass field and there's enough here to make prognosticators think twice.
The Vikings could make history on Sunday.
They have lost to hanging Chads, meaning Chads barely hanging onto their jobs.
They have lost to a variety pack of Kyles.
They have earned L's against the W's, Weinke and Walsh, from St. Paul.
They have lost to random Joshes, a J.P., a Jim, a John, multiple Jeffs and a Joey.
They have lost to Kansas City's non-Chiefs.
They have lost to a McCown. Or was it a McNown?
They have lost to a McMahon not named Jim.
They have lost to quarterbacks they had cast off, and quarterbacks they would later sign, to their regret.
But they've never lost to a Skylar, or anyone who could be confused with a "Breaking Bad" character.
Sunday, at Hard Rock Stadium in Miami-ish, the Vikings will face Dolphins third-string quarterback Skylar Thompson. The rookie seventh-round draft pick will start because Tua Tagovailoa and Teddy Bridgewater both have recently suffered concussions.
This would seem to be a gift. History suggests it might be a prank gift, like a gold pen that shoots water in your eye.
You would think that a 4-1 Vikings team that is remarkably healthy would find this an easy matchup, but the Vikings, since moving away from Met Stadium, have been a greenhouse plant, an indoor pet.
Sunday, they will play on grass, in heat, against an unknown quarterback. That has not been a good formula in recent decades.
The Vikings are 4-3 against the Dolphins in Minnesota, 0-1 on a neutral site, and 1-4 all-time in Miami-ish.
They haven't won a game at Miami since 1976.
Since moving indoors in 1982, the Vikings are 72-111-2 when playing on grass fields — that's winning 39% of the time. In all other games since the start of the 1982 season, they have won at a 59% clip.
They are also in the midst of a season in which the NFL has seemingly engineered close games.
Should the Vikings beat Skylar Thompson? Of course.
Will they?
Here's an incomplete list of quarterbacks the Vikings should have beaten but didn't:
1990: Bob Gagliano. '91: Hugh Millen. '92: Rodney Peete (not a terrible quarterback, but this started a streak of losing to Peete in three straight seasons, which shouldn't happen to a playoff contender). '93: John Friesz, Craig Erickson and former Viking Wade Wilson. '94: Erickson and former Cretin-Derham Hall star Steve Walsh, who beat them 35-18 in the playoffs.
1995: Erik Kramer, Trent Dilfer and Jeff Blake (they lost twice to Kramer in '95, and would lose to Dilfer in four straight seasons). '96: This is an all-timer: Dave Brown, Steve Bono and Friesz. '97: Dilfer again. '98: The Vikings would go 15-1, 16-2 including playoffs. Their losses were to two non-Hall of Famers — Dilfer and Chris Chandler. '99: Shane Matthews, future Viking Gus Frerotte and Shaun King.
2000: King. '01: St. Paul native Chris Weinke, Jim Miller (twice), Aaron Brooks, Kordell Stewart, Mike McMahon. '02: Miller, Peete, Dilfer, Chad Pennington. '03: Doug Flutie, Rick Mirer, Marc Bulger and, infamously, Josh McCown. '04: Chad Hutchinson, Patrick Ramsey.
2005: Brian Griese, Kyle Orton and Kyle Boller. '06: J.P. Losman, Joey Harrington (at Miami), Pennington. '07: Damon Huard, Todd Collins. '08: Orton and Jeff Garcia. '09: Matt Moore.
2010: Chad Henne, future Viking Shaun Hill. '11: Another all-timer: Future Vikings Josh Freeman and Matt Cassel, Tim Tebow, McCown again. '13: Brian Hoyer, a tie with Scott Tolzien and Matt Flynn, another loss to Freeman. '17: Does backup quarterback Nick Foles in the playoffs count? Probably not. '18: Mitch Trubisky (twice). '19: Chase Daniel, Moore.
2020: Andy Dalton. '21: Cooper Rush in his first NFL start.
In 2022, the Vikings have barely survived three consecutive weeks against Jared Goff, Dalton and the struggling Justin Fields.
"No matter who's playing quarterback, I think we've got to have a great week of prep,'' coach Kevin O'Connell said this week, a few months into his time as a Minnesotan. "It's going to be a real challenge.''
He has no idea.
