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‘Write down a phrase you find abhorrent …’
The unflinching empathy I learned as a novelist is what the world needs.
By Rachel Kadish
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“Write down a phrase you find abhorrent — something you yourself would never say.”
My students looked startled but they cooperated. They knew I wouldn’t collect this exercise — what they wrote would be private unless they chose to share it. All that was required was participation.
In silence they jotted a few words. So far, so good. We hadn’t yet reached the hard request: Spend 10 minutes writing a monologue in the first person that’s spoken by a fictitious character who makes the upsetting statement. This portion typically elicits nervous glances. When that happens I remind students that their statement doesn’t represent them and that speaking as if they’re someone else is a basic skill of fiction writers. The troubling statement, I explain, must appear in the monologue and shouldn’t be minimized, nor should students feel the need to forgive or account for it. What’s required is simply that somewhere in the monologue there be an instant — even a fleeting phrase — in which we can feel empathy for the speaker. Perhaps she’s sick with worry over an ill grandchild. Perhaps he’s haunted by a love he let slip away. Perhaps she’s sleepless over how to keep her business afloat and her employees paid. Done right, the exercise delivers a one-two punch: repugnance for a behavior or worldview coupled with recognition of shared humanity.
For more than two decades I’ve taught versions of this fiction-writing exercise. I’ve used it in universities, middle schools and private workshops; with 7-year-olds and 70-year-olds. But in recent years openness to this exercise, and to the imaginative leap it’s designed to teach, has narrowed to a pinprick. As our country’s public conversation has gotten angrier, I’ve noticed that students’ approach to the exercise has become more brittle, regardless of whether students lean right or left.
Each semester, I wonder whether the aperture through which we allow empathy has so drastically narrowed as to foreclose a full view of our fellow human beings. Maybe there are times so contentious or so painful that people simply withdraw to their own silos. I’ve certainly felt that inward pull myself. There are times when a leap into someone else’s perspective feels impossible.
But leaping is the job of the writer and there’s no point it doing it halfway. Good fiction pulls off a magic trick of absurd power: It makes us care. As readers, we become invested in these people, which is very different from agreeing with or even liking them. In the best literature, characters are so vivid, complicated, contradictory and even maddening that we’ll follow them far from our own preconceptions; sometimes, we don’t return.
Unflinching empathy, which is the muscle the lesson is designed to exercise, is a prerequisite for literature strong enough to wrestle with the real world. On the page it allows us to spot signs of humanity; off the page it can teach us to start a conversation with the strangest of strangers, to thrive alongside difference. It can even affect those life-or-death choices we make instinctively in a crisis. This kind of empathy has nothing to do with being nice — and it’s not for the faint of heart.
Even within the safety of the page, it’s tempting to dodge empathy’s challenge, instead demonizing villains and idealizing heroes — but that’s when the needle on art’s moral compass goes inert. Then we’re navigating blind: confident we know what the bad people look like, and that they’re not us — and therefore we’re at no risk of error.
Our best writers, in contrast, portray humans in their full complexity. This is what Gish Jen is doing in the short story “Who’s Irish?” and Rohinton Mistry in the novel “A Fine Balance.” Line by line, these writers illuminate the inner worlds of characters who cause harm — which is not the same as forgiving them. No one would ever say that Toni Morrison forgives the character of Cholly Breedlove, who rapes his daughter in “The Bluest Eye.” What Morrison accomplishes instead is the boldest act of moral and emotional understanding I’ve ever seen on the page.
In the classroom exercise, the upsetting phrases my students scribble might be personal (you’ll never be a writer … you’re ugly …) or religious or political. Once a student wrote a phrase condemning abortion as another student across the table wrote a phrase defending it. Sometimes there are stereotypes, slurs — whatever the students choose to grapple with. Of course, it’s disturbing to step into the shoes of someone whose words or deeds repel us. Writing these monologues, my graduate students — who know what “first person” means — will dodge and write in third; the distanced “he said” instead of “I said.”
But if they can withstand the challenges of first person, sometimes something happens. They emerge shaken and eager to expand on what they’ve written. I look up from tidying my notes to discover a student lingering after dismissal with that alert expression that says the exercise made them feel something they needed to feel.
Over the years, as my students’ statements became more political, and jargon (deplorables … snowflakes …) supplanted the language of personal experience, I adapted the exercise. Worrying that I’d been too sanguine about possible pitfalls, I made it entirely silent, so no student would have to hear another’s troubling statement or fear being judged for their own. Anyone who wanted to share their monologue with me could stay after class rather than read to the group. Later, I added another caveat: If your troubling statement is so offensive you can’t imagine the person who says it as a full human being, choose something less troubling. Next, I narrowed the parameters: No politics. The pandemic’s virtual classes made risk-taking harder; I moved the exercise deeper into the semester so students would feel more at ease.
After one session a student stayed behind in the virtual meeting room. She’d failed to include empathy in her monologue about a character whose politics she abhorred. Her omission bothered her. I was impressed by her honesty. She’d constructed a caricature and recognized it. Most of us don’t.
For years I’ve quietly completed the exercise alongside my students. Some days nothing sparks. When it goes well, though, the experience is disquieting. The hard part, it turns out, isn’t the empathy itself but what follows on its heels: the annihilating notion that people whose fears or joys or humor I appreciate may themselves be indifferent to all my cherished conceptions of the world.
Then the 10-minute timer sounds and I haul myself back to the business of the classroom — shaken by the vastness of the world but more curious about the people in it. I put my trust in that curiosity. What better choice does any of us have? And in the sanctuary of my classroom I keep trying, handing along what literature handed me: the small sturdy magic trick any of us can work, so long as we’re willing to risk it.
Rachel Kadish is the author of the novel “The Weight of Ink.” This article originally appeared in the New York Times.
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Rachel Kadish
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