Yuen: A (mostly) satirical peek into my inbox after a week of PTO

On Sunday, August 14, 2022 at 9:00 AM, Chad Melrod <Chad.Melrod@romancandlePRagency.com> wrote:

Hi Laura,

I enjoyed your recent article about the Wordle craze. I've always been an "ADIEU" guy! But I digress, I thought this would make an another interesting story.

A new and exclusive national study reveals the 5 most passive-aggressive sayings found in office communications.

1) "Per my previous e-mail ... "

2) "Kind regards"

3) "Just making sure"

4) "Going forward"

5) "According to our conversation ... "

Bianca Shox, a thought leader, global influencer and workplace culture expert, is willing to be interviewed and share why these phrases rub people the wrong way.

Visit this link to read the entire groundbreaking report. We'd love for you to cover the story and link to the research in your story.

Attached you will find a handy infographic and a 45-minute pre-recorded video interview that can run in its entirety on your website. Please reach out if you have any questions at all. I look forward to hearing from you. Thanks in advance!

Kind regards,

Chad Melrod
Roman Candle PR
"Taking It to the Next Level"
Laguna Hills, CA

BTW, if you didn't like getting this e-mail, please reply with something like "please don't e-mail me anymore," and I'll make sure that we don't.

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On Monday, August 15, 2022 at 3:48 PM, Chad Melrod <Chad.Melrod@romancandlePRagency.com> wrote:

Hi Laura,

Just making sure you caught my last e-mail about passive-aggressive phrases in the workplace. I'm gonna bump this to the top of your inbox! :-) Hope you're having a great day!

In appreciation,

Chad

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On Tuesday, August 16, 2022 at 3:11 AM, Chad Melrod <Chad.Melrod@romancandlePRagency.com> wrote:

Laura,

After e-mailing you, I realized this may not be your responsibility. Who's the best person on your team to talk to about this?

Going forward it would be great if you could respond so we can get the ball rolling. I've cc'd my boss just so she knows you might be a little tied up with other things.

Milk-warm regards,

Chad

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On Wednesday, August 17, 2022 at 2:24 AM, Chad Melrod <Chad.Melrod@romancandlePRagency.com> wrote:

Hey,

I'm sure you're busy, but if you could respond to my e-mail below, I can cross this off my list.

Chad

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On Thursday, August 18, 2022 at 4:12 AM, Chad Melrod <Chad.Melrod@romancandlePRagency.com> wrote:

Laura:

It's clear you do not value my time. I have given you many chances to prove you are a decent person. I have shown you nothing but kindness in the spirit of maintaining an amicable professional relationship. But obviously, all of this effort has been a one-way street. Not sure how you go to sleep at night knowing that you have prevented me from hitting my deliverables.

I'm giving you one more opportunity to respond. CC'ing your boss, this time.

Awaiting your reply,

Chad

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On Friday, August 19, 2022 at 1:158 AM, Chad Melrod <Chad.Melrod@romancandlePRagency.com> wrote:

Hey,

You have left me no choice but to terminate our partnership. My therapist says I need to set boundaries in my life. Your refusal to even ACKNOWLEDGE my existence has left me feeling hurt and angry. Frankly, I deserve better.

Don't try to reach out to me. You've been blocked.

- C.

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On Friday, August 19, 2022 at 8:00 AM, Jane LaPlange <Jane.LaPlange@romancandlePRagency.com> wrote:

Hi Laura!

I've enjoyed your article about pickleball. I just started playing, too, and boy, is it addictive!

Did you know a new study found that office spam and irrelevant e-mails are among the top pet peeves in American workplaces today?

Tad Tuffin, thought leader and author of the book "Your Best Self: Taking What's Yours In Your Dream Job," can explain why we're annoyed by e-mails that render you a vacant, deadened shell of your former self.

Visit this link to read more about this groundbreaking study. Bonus: Click on the five attachments for instructions on how to install the latest spamware to protect your inbox from unsolicited e-mails.

And don't even think about trying to block me with that pathetic Outlook filter of yours. Remember I own you and will terrorize your dreams tonight, you ridiculously weak, tired clump of self-delusion.

Thanks in advance!

Jane

BTW, if you didn't like getting this e-mail, please reply with something like "please don't e-mail me anymore," and let's see what happens. I double-dog dare you. Do it now.