How Matt Birk's rant against sex ed convinced me it absolutely belongs in elementary schools

"But how?" my kid implored. "I get that the sperm and the egg come together, but how?"

My palms are clammy just by typing about this memory.

I was raised to be book smart, so I know how to drill my son on multiplication facts and spelling words. But I'd rather reorganize all the unlabeled boxes in my garage than educate him on the nuts and bolts of human reproduction. The mere thought of it is dreadful.

Parents can defer this conversation, well, forever. And I've been playing a weak defensive game, not giving my children all the details and panicking every time they venture closer in their questions about the origin of babies.

That's why I shared some hearty laughs with Christina Haddad Gonzalez, director of student support services at Richfield Public Schools. She oversees school social workers — the very staff who teach elementary school kids sexual health. I called her because Matt Birk, the former Minnesota Viking who's now running for lieutenant governor, recently accused the district of "sexually indoctrinating kindergartners" while teaching them about genitalia.

Haddad Gonzalez and I weren't laughing at Birk. We barely discussed him. Instead, we connected over the way we middle-aged women were raised, as daughters of immigrants (hers from Lebanon, and mine from Hong Kong and Taiwan) who never got the sex talk at home, often having to glean what we could from our girlfriends.

I was in awe of how someone with a similar background to me was so comfortable articulating concepts about touch, decision-making, and anatomy in ways that were age-appropriate for children. It made me realize how much work as a parent I needed to do.

Haddad Gonzalez, too, reflected on how little she was taught about her body. "And what I was taught about my body was shame-based," she said. "We haven't normalized that we own our bodies, and that every function of our body is normal."

Maybe that's why teaching sexual health is becoming politicized in an election year.

If you haven't been following the controversy in conservative media, the Richfield district came under fire last fall from Fox News and Alpha News after the local Child Protection League — whose stated mission is to protect children from exploitation and indoctrination— testified at a school board meeting in opposition to the sex-ed program. The speakers seized on aspects of the national 3R's (Rights, Respect, Responsibility) curriculum, a part of which Richfield has implemented in grades K-5.

The district quickly came out with a lengthy response refuting claims reported in the articles. To give you a sense of the allegations, here's one line from Richfield's statement: "We do NOT teach elementary students about anal sex, show them graphic images, or ask them to role play, as has been reported by some media outlets."

So in some ways, the video message that Birk posted to social media this month was reined in compared with the outrage from last fall. He objected to the fact that students in kindergarten through second grade were learning about genitalia in the classroom.

"They're being taught that most boys have penises, and most girls have vulvas," Birk said. "I have no idea why we're talking about this in public schools, none whatsoever."

Part of me is empathetic to this line of thinking. Birk and I are both in our mid-40s, and our generation generally did not learn about sexual organs from our teachers until we were older. But as a mom of a 5- and 9-year-old, I see that many kids at this age are absolutely curious about gender and anatomy, and it's not too early to explain some of these concepts on their level. I agree with Birk that parents should be teaching their kids this stuff. But many are not — and some of us who are trying need help.

Yes, kindergartners in Richfield learn about the names of private body parts, that girls have three orifices between their legs, and what to do if someone touches their body or makes them feel uncomfortable.

Does that instruction belong in the schools? I'm more than OK with that.

"This equips students who may be experiencing harm with language and a pathway to be able to speak up and get support that they need," Haddad Gonzalez told me.

Richfield has been upfront with families about its sexual health curriculum. The district sends out letters notifying them in advance what lessons from the 3R's curriculum they would be teaching — lessons that amount to one to three 20-minute lessons in a school year.

Parents can read the detailed lesson plans and have their children not participate if the material makes them uncomfortable. Fewer than five families in this district of 4,000-plus students opt out each year, Haddad Gonzalez said.

I would welcome this kind of education, as well as Richfield's clear communication between schools and parents and caregivers. It informs us what language educators are using in the classroom so we can start a conversation about it with our kids at home.

This level of transparency is exactly what Republicans like Birk are fighting for, after all. GOP lawmakers are pushing for a "parents bill of rights" that would make it easier for parents to access school curriculum and pull their students out if they object to it.

Birk's other argument is that teaching kids that some boys have penises and some girls have vulvas is part of a leftist ideology. But I don't see it that way, either. It's about making space for the tiny percentage of kids who are among the most vulnerable in our society. Studies have shown that LGBTQ youth who have access to places that affirmed their sexual orientation and gender identity report lower rates of attempting suicide than those who did not, according to The Trevor Project.

When Birk rants in the video about our growing awareness of gender identity — "new pronouns being created every single day" — it's to appeal to base impulses that denigrate what we do not understand.

And yet his critique is not surprising. Birk spoke out in 2012, his last year with the NFL, in favor of a proposed constitutional amendment that would have banned same-sex marriage. Thankfully, Minnesota voters did not stand for sealing away discrimination into our Constitution.

His railing against the teaching of gender identity in public schools is part of a broader attack designed to shield children from learning about our differences. Following the passage of Florida's new law, dubbed by critics "Don't Say Gay," more than a dozen states are proposing similar legislation, tapping into parents' hyped-up fears about indoctrination in the classroom.

These bills are harmful efforts to erase the LGBTQ people from our lives and our history books. They are also not preparing the next generation for the world they live in.

Our children, yes, as young as kindergarten, can easily absorb the notion that families can have two dads or two moms. They can learn that in some cases, people are born with body parts that don't align with who they really are. We can give them permission to be curious about their bodies and show them how to respect and love those who were born different from them.

"This isn't political. This is just human decency," Birk said in his rant.

With just as much irony, he introduced his video in a tweet that began with this line:

"Our kids should not be political pawns."