Yuen: In Minnesota, ‘Love Is Blind’ kicks off with the slowest start ever

Is love blind? Not sure, but I do know love is doddering, overthinking and sometimes a snooze fest.

At least that’s when happens when “Love Is Blind” comes to Minneapolis, apparently taking a detour to “Love Is Sluggish.” For its eighth season, the reality-dating show is set in the City of Lakes and features an entire cast of Minnesotans.

An astonishing six episodes transpire before all the couples are paired off. That means about half of the season takes place in the so-called pods, with no daylight or change of scenery — just hours upon hours of conversation.

If you are too principled to watch the guilty-pleasure Netflix series, here’s how it works: Beautiful people date each other, sight unseen, in private suites separated by a wall. If love strikes, couples can agree to marry without having laid eyes on their future spouse. (Contestants also have the option to walk away from the altar a few weeks later.)

In the initial seasons, the proposals took place within the first few episodes before the couples were whisked off to their tropical getaways to, um, consummate their love. The series creators have gradually lengthened the contestants’ time in the pods, giving them more time to develop emotional bonds without the influence of physical attraction. But this season, the couples’ first night together in Honduras — usually an essential plot vehicle — doesn’t get underway until Episode 7.

Leave it to Minnesotans to be too stable and even-tempered to deprive us of the early train wrecks that have been so satisfying in previous seasons.

Cast member Brittany Dodson remarks to the other women on the show that there are no divas among them. “Everybody is so fricking nice,” she marvels.

Maybe that’s the problem with this season. The female contestants later bond by building a blanket fort in their apartment. Ladies, if you keep acting this wholesome, reality TV will never return to Minnesota.

But any veteran LIB watcher knows you need to keep watching for the complications and scandals, and I have faith we’ll get there.

The closest thing to a villain to emerge in the first six episodes, which drop on Valentine’s Day, is a medical-device sales guy named David Bettenburg. His way of breaking the ice with dates is pointing out the women’s spinster-like age (over 30) and joking (but is he?) that they’re probably no longer attractive. This guy has Shake Chatterjee (Season 2) vibes, but with a sprout of self-awareness about his lack of maturity. David’s desire to grow, his occasional moments of vulnerability and his shallowness toward women make things interesting but will have you cursing at your screen.

As my colleague Neal Justin notes, you won’t see much of the Twin Cities in the first half of the season. But the references to our state and our unique culture are plentiful if you look for them. Here are some of the more notable tells from Episodes 1-6 that these contestants are through-and-through Minnesotans. (Keep reading for minor spoilers):

We all have a preconceived notion of what Edina represents. The affluent suburb that everyone loves to hate even has some residents playfully embracing their cake-eating reputation.

So when Alex Brown, a commercial real estate broker, confides in one of his dates that he was bullied as a kid in Edina for being nerdy and unattractive, we all can sympathize. This must be what it’s like to grow up different in Edina!

(But don’t underestimate Alex. In a later episode, he consoles another male contestant after learning a woman broke up with him, knowing full well — but not disclosing — that he was the reason for the breakup. Alex may not even be aware that he’s doing it, but he’s perfected the art of the Minnesota backstab.)

When David, the sales guy, imagines a future with Lauren O’Brien, they talk about the importance of fitting in with their respective families. What does that look like?

Cue the pontoon boat and box of Shore Lunch. Lauren, a former teacher, says she pictures taking David to her parents’ lake house. David is quick to disclose his dad has a place up north, on Lake Mille Lacs.

This is comforting to Lauren. “I love that the lake-life vibe is something you are familiar with,” she tells him.

Sara Carton, a 29-year-old oncology nurse, asks her suitor, Ben Mezzenga, what he thought of what happened to George Floyd. Ben, a 27-year-old account executive, said he has no opinion of the murder, nor of Black Lives Matter.

While both Sara and Ben are ostensibly white, Sara says she was changed by Floyd’s killing and that racial justice is important to her, while Ben still hasn’t made up his mind. It’s hard for Sara to come to terms that Ben has stayed neutral on a matter so profound, and something that happened so close to home. I’m not certain where this relationship will go, but my money’s on Sara to remain informed and clearheaded about her values.

Many singles have bemoaned the small-pond aspect of the Twin Cities' dating pool. So perhaps it is no surprise that Devin Buckley, a former basketball player for Park Center High School in Brooklyn Park, becomes smitten with health care recruiter Virginia Miller, an alum of ... Park Center. (They’re five years apart, so the two didn’t cross paths in high school.)

When they envision their future together, Virginia says Devin would be coaching varsity back at Park Center. She’d be pregnant with another baby on her hip, working the concession stand, and dishing up walking tacos (a Minnesota delicacy).

The smallness of our region’s dating circles will be a recurring theme of this season, and it will come back to haunt at least two of the five pairings.

While low on drama, Season 8 probes deep into relationships. “Love Is Blind” tries to answer the eternal questions about compatibility, like: Why do we get in the way of our own path to love? How important is your family’s blessing? What does it mean to trust your partner? Does height matter?

Those answers are worth getting to, but in Minnesota you’ll have to slog through a lot of chitchat to enjoy the payoff.