Nightmares afflicted the father of Lee Hawkins Jr. and awoke his son, then just a little boy growing up in the St. Paul suburb of Maplewood. His dad would jostle out of his sleep screaming, startling the entire family.
One time, Hawkins asked his father what his dreams were about. “Alabama, son,” his dad replied. “Alabama.”
When Hawkins entered his 30s, the nightmares came for him, too.
The term “intergenerational trauma” might not be easily understood for those who haven’t experienced it, but Hawkins, a veteran journalist formerly at the Wall Street Journal and now a podcaster and author, was able to connect the dots after investigating his own family’s past and diving into the long shadow of slavery.
His father, a Black man born and raised in Alabama whom Hawkins loved and idolized, was traumatized by his childhood experiences in the Jim Crow South. Hawkins was haunted by the belt lashings his father would give him in Minnesota in the 1970s and ‘80s.
Hawkins remembers watching the whipping scene from the 1977 miniseries “Roots” with his parents when he was about 5. “And at that very young age, I made the connection: I thought, ‘That’s what they do to us,’ ” he said. “It planted the seed of curiosity in my mind about my family’s place in America.”
Hawkins, 52, said a DNA genealogy test he took in 2015 sent him on a hunt to find out more about his ancestors. Building his family tree, often sharing it with his dad, he began to connect the “horror of history” to his own upbringing.
“My father kept secrets from me about his time in Alabama, and his parents kept secrets from him,” said Hawkins, who now lives in New York. “It was a dark cloud that always hung over me. I was a Black kid up north who knew I had cousins and connections and cultural traditions that traced back to the South, but I knew nothing about the South.”