The top 13 signs that spring has arrived in Minnesota

Minnesota, we need to talk.

OK, I might have cursed you with unforgivable insults a month ago. I might have questioned why we got together in the first place. And in a moment I'm not proud of, I might have googled "best warm places to live in the United States."

But now that it's spring, I'm hopelessly, positively in love with you again.

I knew it had arrived when that unfamiliar orb in the sky started to work its mystical powers on my brain, making me forget the dreariness of pitch-black mornings and the peeling disaster that was my lips. I had to bust outside for a midday walk, to inhale and remember why I fell hard for you.

Here are the telltale signs that spring has sprung — and that you and I are going to be A-OK:

1) Everyone's at the car wash.

Nothing screams Midwestern optimism like lines a half-mile deep to get our cars cleaned on the first warm day. Naysayers will grouse about how wrong this is: Your vehicle is going to be splattered by mud puddles the second you leave the parking lot! But it feels glorious to get it done. Then we can squeak down our windows and let in that tropical, 49-degree breeze.

2) We are all smiling.

The dopiest grins on the planet can be found at this time of year on Minnesotans' sun-drunk faces. Even the dogs that greet us on our walks are beaming. As my friend likes to say, "Everybody's moods lift right along with their pant legs."

3) Return of the cargo shorts.

This spring staple adds to the allure, the je ne sais quoi, of the Minnesota man. Among a certain set, he may develop April sunburn on his bright pasty calves. But when we spot the cargo shorts, we know things are looking up, weather-wise.

4) Seeing our neighbors again.

"How was your winter?" we ask one another in the middle of the street. "Oh, wow, and you're pregnant? Congratulations!" Then calculate how many months it's been since we've seen them last.

5) Pulling out a patio chair — just one — to sit outside.

We crack open a favorite beverage. We drape a blanket over our legs. We watch the walkers and bikers and toddlers on scooters go by. Does it get any better than this?

6) Feeling guilty about our outdoor holiday lights.

They truly were charming through February, but now that the snow's melted, they've acquired a new gaudiness. Maybe it's time to take them down. Also, Christmas trees that were buried in snow around the neighborhood magically appear curbside.

7) Other presents left behind.

We tread carefully as the earth thaws. When Robert Frost wrote, "To think to know the country and not know / The hillside on the day the sun lets go / Ten million silver lizards out of snow!" — he was talking about dog poop, right?

8) Realizing that we should probably clip our toenails.

Our feet haven't seen daylight for months. Our legs are a little hairy. Spring reminds us of any latent grooming ambitions.

9) Daily fights with our children about weather-appropriate clothing.

It doesn't matter if it's 35 degrees at the bus stop. We are notified that no one else — no one! — will be wearing a jacket. P.S. If Dad is wearing cargo shorts (see above), all leverage in negotiations is lost.

10) It smells like steak.

That scent wafting through our neighborhood hits us just as we notice our stomachs growling at the end of our first Sunday afternoon bike ride. We wonder who's grilling, what they're serving, and why they didn't invite us. Boy, steak sounds good tonight. We surely will be the only ones who've thought to make a quick trip to Costco just before dinnertime.

11) It's time to visit the tire store.

Dodging potholes this time of year can feel like a game of Frogger. Be safe and report them when you see them.

12) We concede we are superstitious.

Don't pack up your sweaters and scarves! Don't put the shovels away! Don't take the ice scraper out of the car! Anyone who commits these acts will surely punish the entire state with a solid dumping of April snow.

13) But if that happens ...

We know what to do, right? Shovel a walkway to access the grill. That tidy little path is another sure sign of a Minnesota spring.