Here is the most wonderful secret about parenting that nobody tells you: Your kid will grow up and might just be your friend.
If it happens, it will be long after the daily discovery of baby spit on your shoulder, of dazed nights when you are nothing but a 24-hour milk bar, of relinquishing your Netflix algorithms to the riptide of Power Rangers and Octonauts.
After the hardest and earliest years, your kids will explore their own interests and hobbies. You are more of a facilitator (and Uber driver) for guitar lessons, dance, summer camp and Little League.
Modern parenting often gets a rep for being joyless, and some of this is for good reason. Contrary to conventional wisdom, having children does not make you happier, according to the research. It can seem like a daily grind of fretting over the snack supply, collecting unmated miniature socks, and negotiating with a terrorist.
But then they enter the golden age of childhood. My older son just turned 10, and I don't know if it gets any better than this.
The other day he offered me a chance to ride his new mountain bike before he was headed off to a sleepover with his grandparents. "Mom, you want to try it?" he asked. "When the cat's away, the mice will play." He may have even winked at me.
All his life, I have reared him with silly clichés like this one. Now my son was repeating it to me, not only in the appropriate context but with joyful satisfaction, and I was conflicted between two thoughts: "Goodness, how did my son get to be so corny?" And: "My son is as corny as me, and I am in love!"
Maybe this realization came to me so late because I'm a mom of two squirrely boys, and as such, have long been outnumbered. They are feral like their dad. Any type of fart joke hits their sweet spot. Unlike me, they are Minnesota-bred and gravitated to sports and fishing and The Griddy. I was always happy to fall in line, enjoying the things that made them happy even if they didn't necessarily connect to me.