Dear Amy: I was in a 13-year marriage that was quite lonely and without intimacy, but I filled those lonely moments with travel and adventure. I finally gave up on trying to fix our broken relationship.

Enter "New Guy." We met last year and hit it off like dynamite. He's smart, stable, attentive, and loves me. He says he was attracted to me because of my free spirit, confidence, drive and intelligence.

I am self-employed, financially very stable and chose my profession so I could travel. He wants to travel, too, but he is an engineer and gets only two weeks off a year.

He proposed marriage and I accepted, but now I'm seeing red flags.

I have some opportunities for business travel that appear "fun," but he doesn't want me going if he can't come with me. He makes me feel terrible if I want to go without him.

He has traveled to many wonderful places for his job, but he sees my travel as if I'm vacationing without him. I can't compromise something that is so much a part of me and be limited to only two weeks of travel a year just to fit his schedule.

I don't want to blow the best relationship of my life, but I will end up very resentful if I have to give up a big part of who I am for someone else. I never want to do that again. How do I navigate this?

Amy says: Years ago, just after I got (re)married, my new husband told me that he wanted to run for local office. This would involve many nights campaigning and attending meetings, leaving me alone in our household. I was completely opposed to his doing this, and told him so.

It took me some time to realize that this was how the very good man I'd married carried his light. And so I came around and embraced his ambition. (He has also supported my many experiences being on the road, sometimes going to "fun" places without him.)

My point is that ideally you enter a second marriage knowing who you are and with the determination to support and enable one another's choice to live your best lives, both separately and together.

If he can't be happy with you being on the road, and you can't be happy being at home with him, then perhaps you should take marriage off the table for now and continue to enjoy the relationship as it is.

Reveal the truth

Dear Amy: Thirty-eight years ago, I conceived our son via sperm donation from a medical student, because of my husband's infertility. I told my three sisters, but otherwise it's been a secret.

Our son mentioned to us that his cousin on my husband's side of the family had his DNA tested for fun. Should we tell him about his parentage? I'm afraid he might innocently find out by another means.

Please tell us what you think regarding this delicate manner.

Amy says: Yes, you should definitely tell your son about his DNA parentage. He has the right to know, and it is far, far better for him to learn this from you vs. another source.

I think it would help if you saw this as less of a "delicate matter" or "secret" and more like an option you were privileged to have 38 years ago, which enabled you to build your family.

Many donor-conceived people are discovering their DNA heritage through various registries. You should support your son through this entire process.

Send questions to Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com.