Minnesota volunteers make 'angel' outfits for families grieving for their babies

As a former paramedic and coroner investigator for Scott and Dakota counties, Patty Hauer saw plenty of infant deaths, including babies left by rivers. She was troubled that the youngest of the dead often were wrapped in old ratty blankets because that's all hospitals or coroners' offices had.

She wanted to give them a death with dignity.

"They had nothing," she said. "I had always wanted to make an angel dress."

Hauer took her old wedding dress and used it to make 12 miniature outfits. She then took them to Litchfield Hospital to give to grieving families. That was the beginning of Angel Dresses.

Over the past three years, Hauer, 69, has recruited an army of volunteers who meet monthly in the basement of All Saints Lutheran Church in Darwin, Minn., to transform donated wedding and prom dresses into the final outfits forinfants who died during birth or shortly after. The gowns come with a knitted hat and blanket, a keepsake charm, heart or cross and a Bible verse, and are given free to families who might not have anything to bury their child in. The group also makes vests for boys out of men's suits and pants.

"It's fulfilling," said Hauer, 69.

Angel Dresses recently began a partnership with the Midwest Medical Examiner's Office in Ramsey to further expand its reach.

"We are the first medical examiner's office to do this," said Shane Sheets, director of the office serving 32 Minnesota counties and several hospitals. Most families aren't prepared to find fitted clothing or outfits for final photos and funeral services, he said. "They are preparing for a life, not a death. It's another way the county can take a difficult situation and handle it with the respect it deserves."

Hauer never imagined the wide impact Angel Dresses could have. But after sewing the original dozen outfits, requests began rolling in. One came from a hospital in Buffalo, and Angel Dresses delivered an outfit for a 6-month-old during a blizzard.

"We had no idea how big the need was when we started," Hauer said. "I thought, let's keep it going."

Infant death is common. The infant mortality rate in Minnesota is 5.1 deaths per 1,000 live births, Sheets said. In 2020, the Midwest Medical Examiner's Office conducted 27 infant autopsies, he said.

Patty McCarthy, 71, a member of All Saints Lutheran Church, knows how heartbreaking infant death can be. Twenty years ago, her grandson, Adam, developed a brain tumor just before his birth. He lived only a couple of hours.

She joined Hauer's group three years ago and looks forward to the monthly meetings where people are so busy and energized that "nobody stops to drink their coffee," she said. She said knitting hats and small keepsakes to go with the outfits that others make is helping families in their time of need.

"This is something I wanted to be a part of," McCarthy said. "I have a lot of empathy for a family dealing with that sort of loss. It's a good way to ease the pain."

Others in faraway places such as California, Florida and Texas also have joined the group, which has sewn more than 5,000 dresses and suits since it started.

Rosie Stueber, 63, joined the group about a year ago and from 50 miles away at her home in New Ulm has made nearly 300 dresses. Stueber said she likes adding lace, ribbons, buttons and charms to the outfits and blankets she makes, trying to make each one special.

"I want these babies to be pretty," she said.

Most of the outfits are made from white wedding dresses. But recently, the group started accepting prom dresses to add color to the lineup.

"There are cultures that like to bury babies in brighter colors," McCarthy said.

Of course, a lot depends on what is on hand. With no budget, Angel Dresses relies solely on donations. The group accepts wedding and prom dresses and men' suits that can be dropped off or mailed. Once about 200 dresses arrived shortly after a Facebook post, Hauer said.

"We use just about everything we get," Hauer said.

The Grand Lodge of Minnesota, the Hutchinson VFW, the Litchfield Rotary and even other churches have sent money and gift cards. Volunteers scour ads for sales and use the money to buy fabric, fleece, linen, ribbon and notions for cheap, Hauer said.

"We get down to a few cents and somebody donates," Hauer said.

Angel Dresses rarely knows who receives its outfits, but that doesn't matter to Stueber.

"It's so nice to give something to a family that has this unexpected thing happen," she said. "I felt a calling to do something good for people."