In the immortal words of gonzo journalist Hunter S. Thompson, God made fast motorcycles for one reason: "Being shot out of a cannon will always be better than being squeezed out of a tube."
His ode to speed and daring aboard a Ducati 900 superbike, written 28 years ago in "Song of the Sausage Creature," fits just as well with today's high-powered, high-priced snowmobiles manufactured in Minnesota and Canada.
Polaris, Arctic Cat and Ski-Doo are now in "sneak peek" season, discreetly unveiling their 2024 models to magazine writers, YouTubers and television producers who regularly follow the industry. Later this month, the curtains will be pulled back for the public to see the latest "up-powered," "magnum" "hypersleds" built for "astonishing power" and "blistering speed," according to a mix of recent media.
"It's crazy how year after year these sleds continue to get faster and better," said Ben Roth of CBoysTV, a highly successful YouTube channel based in rural Becker County. "All the manufacturers are basically making rocket ships with tracks and skis on them."
But Roth, who performs crazy stunts with off-road vehicles of all kinds, agrees with many others who say advances in snowmobile design and engineering aren't to blame for the rash of fatal accidents this winter in Minnesota and Wisconsin.
To the contrary, they say, the $23,000 turbo-charged sleds of today feature far better braking, steering and maneuverability than models produced 25 years ago that had just as much top-end speed. Law enforcement officials agree.
Then, as now, the prime underpinnings of deadly crashes are alcohol, inexperience and speeding out of control, they say. Any of those factors can contribute to striking a tree or other fixed object — the most common ending for people who die on snowmobile rides.
"Those are the leading causes," said Capt. Jon Paurus, who heads safety training for Minnesota's Department of Natural Resources. "My team goes through the crash reports … There's no (new) visible trends."