What's the worst thing that could happen if Cleopetra doesn't like your gift? She'll ignore it. You're out $10. End of story. But if she loves it, everyone's happy and you may get a spare moment to wrap gifts in peace.
When buying pet gifts, safety is job one, said Dusty Rainbolt, product editor at Catnip magazine and author of "Cat Wrangling Made Easy." Anything that can strangle or choke a small child can be just as dangerous for a pet, she said. No toys with button eyes or push-on noses. Avoid poorly made toys that come apart easily when your pet forgets he's domesticated. When in doubt, food wins out. But skip any holiday treats with raisins, grapes, garlic, onion or chocolate for dogs or cats, said Rainbolt.
Perpetual string toy
The Fling-ama-string ($25, Moody Pet, 1-888-671-5663, www.moodypet.com) has won numerous awards from cat mags. A battery-operated string rotates along a fast moving belt. It's supposed to hang on a doorknob, but my cat Floyd prefers it on the carpet where it doesn't make a loud noise after a good swat.
You look like you need a hug
For the cat that likes to lie on its side trying to eviscerate "prey," the Kong Kickeroo Wrestling catnip toy ($5.39, Chuck & Don's Pet Food Outlet, Minneapolis, 612-926-8161, and 12 other locations at www.chuckanddons.com) is the perfect elongated shape for Killer to practice her death grip.
Is that the rabbit hutch or weed I'm smelling?
Let your rabbit, gerbil, ferret, hamster or mouse literally eat itself out of house and home with the Oxbow Timothy Bungalow ($21, Chuck & Don's). The all natural hut made from a hemp-like cord makes a cozy den and gnawing surface for any rodent.
ALL I GOT WAS A STUPID NAIL TRIM
Pedipaws ($20 at Walgreens, Wal-Mart, Target, CVS and Bed, Bath & Beyond and www.pedipaws.com). The gift of a pedicure doesn't have quite the cachet in the pet world, but some pet owners can't resist Pedipaw's marketing blitz. It's a battery-operated rotating wheel coated with sandpaper and a guard so the nail can't be trimmed to the quick. I've started to get Floyd acclimated to the sound it makes (noisy as a hand mixer), but I haven't been able to get it close enough to his nails yet. If your cat or dog is a bit high-strung, this gadget will take time and behavior modification to be useful, if ever.
Bootie-free protection against road salt
Ah, the dreaded practical gift. Musher's Secret ($18, Lulu & Luigi, St. Louis Park, 952-929-1200, and Wayzata, 952-249-0330, www.luluandluigi.com) is the equivalent of the owner getting a tube of Vaseline Intensive Care. It's a wax applied to the dog's paws in the winter to prevent salt burn during walks. It can also be used in the summer for protection against hot asphalt.
NO-GUTS ROADKILL
It's doubtful that the Obamas' new dog will get to shake the stuffing from a well-padded toy all over the Lincoln bedroom. Instead, they and you can choose a rabbit, fox, skunk, squirrel, raccoon or chipmunk called Skinneeez ($11, at most pet stores) that are "entrails-free."
