It's college acceptance time. That means giddy Facebook posts of stationery letterhead, skyrocketing sales of college T-shirts and bumper stickers, and cupcakes ordered in college colors for graduation parties.
It also means that after 12 stellar years of mastering reading, 'riting and 'rithmetic, college-bound students must face a fourth R:
Rejection.
Despite the predictable media coverage of the high school senior who was accepted to all eight Ivy League colleges and universities! the reality is that most students will see at least one very thin envelope in the mailbox.
Or eight.
How we, as parents, respond to that rejection is more crucial to our young adult's developing confidence than any message sent to them by an institution.
"Parents are often as emotionally traumatized as the kid, and sometimes more," said Jim Taylor, a San Francisco-based psychologist and author of "Positive Pushing: How to Raise a Successful and Happy Child."
That reaction, Taylor said, can unwittingly send a message to the child of "profound disappointment that you aren't good enough, or haven't lived up to what we want for you," he said. "Parents might just be feeling bad because the child feels bad, but kids can't read their parents' minds. All they see is that my mom is incredibly upset with me."