Memorable quotes from Dr. House

February 20, 2009 at 10:08PM

'HOUSE' TALK

In honor of "House's" 100th episode this month, we offer some of our favorite barbs that have flown out of the cranky doctor's mouth:

"She has gone from the 25th weight percentile to the 3rd in one month. I'm not a baby expert, but I'm pretty sure they're not supposed to shrink."

"Like I always say, There's no 'I' in team. There's a 'me,' though, if you jumble it up."

"What makes a guy start drool-ing? Chase, were you wearing your short shorts?"

"I had a heart attack this morning. I can't do any more drugs 'til at least lunch."

"If you want fair, you picked the wrong job, and the wrong pro-fession. And the wrong species. Treat this patient like he's just another really, really ugly kid."

"Anyone can hate humanity after being shot. It takes a big man to hate them beforehand."

"Our job is to find what's killing patients, not treat them for chronic idiocy."

"I'm a jerk to everyone. Best way to protect yourself against lawsuits."

"People interest me. Conversations don't."

"I thought I'd get your theories, mock them, then embrace my own. The usual."

about the writer

about the writer

Neal Justin

Critic / Reporter

Neal Justin is the pop-culture critic, covering how Minnesotans spend their entertainment time. He also reviews stand-up comedy. Justin previously served as TV and music critic for the paper. He is the co-founder of JCamp, a non-profit program for high-school journalists, and works on many fronts to further diversity in newsrooms.

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