Minnesota families share A+ rituals to ring in the new school year

In the age of electronic communication, handwritten letters or notes to children can be potent motivators, especially on the first day of school. Linda Wilson of Eden Prairie hosted a group of parents for a first-day-of-school brunch every year while her sons, now 24 and 28, were in high school. Parents took time to write a heartfelt letter to their child. Four years later, at high school graduation, Wilson delivered four letters — one for each year — to each student. "It was a time to step back as a mom and say, 'Wow, my child is really cool,' " she said. "We can get caught up in all the stuff that really isn't that important."

Most of us will never be Pinterest stars who craft a PB&J into our kid's favorite Disney character and pack it in their lunchbox, but the first day of school may be the one time all year to go all-out. "I always let my kids lay out their first school outfit, and take their cold lunch orders before they head to bed," Loren said. "In the morning, I have always planned a special school-themed breakfast [she makes pencil-shaped pancakes and school buses out of bananas and grapes!] to help perk them up and jump-start their day into the new year. They always look forward to it, which makes me wonder if this tradition of school-shaped foods will be carried on throughout high school." □

Don't forget to start your own personal "the kids are back in school" traditions. Treat yourself to a day off, revel in the silence of a quiet house or do a happy dance like Christine Skluzacek of Montgomery, Minn., does on the first day of school. For her, the rituals of back to school rank right up there with Christmas. "It's the happiest day of the year for me," she said. After snapping photos of her four sons sullenly walking toward the bus stop, Skluzacek breathes a sigh of relief and cracks open a wine cooler. "Little do they know that I'm overcome with glee inside," she said. "They're not too excited about summer ending, but I'm pumped. That first day is heaven."

Getting back into the school groove can be stressful for families. While some kids benefit from over-the-top rituals (bus-stop brunches, visits from the backpack fairy, school year's eve parties, etc.), others, especially those who are nervous about the year ahead, might enjoy quieter, laid-back traditions. Every Labor Day — the night before school — Judy Hill of New Brighton invites her grandchildren to her house for dinner and then marks their height on the frame of a door. The retired principal believes that the first day of school is exciting enough without a lot of extra hype. "It's important to lower their excitement and anxiety level," she said. "Let them enjoy the moment through something relaxing and low-key. That's what Grandma's house is all about."

Erin Erickson's goal at the start of the school year is to keep things simple and intentional. The Minneapolis mother of three does her best to avoid the bombardment of messages suggesting that parents need to adopt Pinterest-worthy rituals to make their kids' lives magical. "It's just not realistic," said Erickson, owner and co-host of the Mom Enough website and podcast.

"It can serve to foster a sense of competition among parents and children," she said. "So many things we see on social media play into moms feeling not good enough. Sometimes something simple is the most meaningful."

At Erickson's house, a simple idea transformed into a new back-to-school ritual this year. The family sat down to dinner a week before school started and had a conversation about their goals and dreams for the new school year. Each family member then shared how they could help each other reach their goals. "It was nice as a family to each contribute to setting each person on the right path for the year," she said. "The dreams ranged from getting straight A's to my 10-year-old son saying he wanted to fly. It was fun for us as parents to think about what we want, too."