‘Real Housewives’ turned Heather Gay’s life around

Not so long ago, Heather Gay was struggling to reclaim her sense of self. She’d spent most of her adult life as a devoted wife, mother and member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Then her marriage fell apart, and with it her entire identity.

“I was just set out to pasture. I had no plausible hope for the future. I was just trying to be a good mom and morally upright citizen, turn my face to the wall and die. That, literally, was the plan,” she said.

Then Bravo came calling. Gay was cast in " The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City,” which premiered in 2020 and distinguished itself by looking at how the women in the cast were influenced by organized religion, particularly the LDS church.

Gay became the show’s breakout star — the smart, self-aware and hyper-relatable one who was quick to share her insecurities or crack a self-deprecating joke.

She wasn’t model thin, didn’t dress in head-to-toe Chanel or travel with a glam team. She did, however, get very excited about eating meat on a stick and sometimes wound up with her head in the toilet after drinking too many espresso martinis.

Reality TV can be a lot of things — a bid for attention, a cash grab. But for Gay, it turned out to be a calling.

“‘Housewives’ rescued me. It gave me a second lease on life,” she said before attending a watch party for Season 5.

She has leveraged her popularity by writing a bestselling memoir, “Bad Mormon,” with a second book, “Good Time Girl,” due in December.

She cemented her place in the pantheon of “Real Housewives” greats last season by confronting cast member Monica Garcia, linking her to a social media account that trashed her co-stars. A clip of Gay’s tirade went viral. It has been quoted by congressional lawmakers, spoofed by Marvel and referenced on “Jeopardy.”

Now, Gay is at a crossroads: Can she enjoy the fruits of her “Housewives” celebrity while also maintaining the down-to-earth appeal that made her a fan favorite?

“The most rewarding part of this job is taking someone, and watching them go from obscurity to really finding their voice and taking the opportunity and soaring. Heather is an amazing example of that,” said executive producer Lisa Shannon.

For her part, Gay suggests her relatability stems from the fact that she was a fan — of reality TV in general, but especially ‘The Real Housewives” — before she became one herself.

“I’m grateful to these women for putting their lives on television, for showing the good, the bad and the ugly, for giving me escape and ... showing me a life that I never would have seen because my bubble was so insular,” she said.

Participating in the show enabled her to leave the church. But it also contributed to her estrangement from most of her family.

If she had chosen to walk away from the church in private, they would have been upset but accepted it, Gay said. “But I’ve done it loudly and proudly, and I’m unapologetic about it,” she said.