Q. I have a colleague who guards her turf pretty aggressively. She doesn't share other people's ideas even if they're useful and keeps information to herself even when others need it. She's a pleasant person, but these behaviors are frustrating. How can I work more effectively with her?
Phil, 49, director of product development
A. Take a dual approach of building common ground and expanding your reach to others.
Setting aside your frustration, spend some time seeing the world through your colleague's eyes. What motivates her? If she's ambitious, try to understand what success will look like to her. Likewise, consider what she'll see as a failure. What is she most afraid of from a business perspective? You're trying to build empathy, but just as importantly, you're getting tools for effectively influencing her behavior.
Also think about how her behavior reflects or deviates from your broader corporate culture. If she's in alignment with the dominant executive style, her behavior will seem even more rational to her. If it's a cutthroat culture, she may be looking for any edge she can find.
On the other hand, if your company tends to be collaborative, she may be an outlier.
In all cases, how can you get what you need from her while also helping her be successful? If she can be brought to see that sharing ideas and information is in her interest, you'll get the outcome you want.
At the same time, you can't depend on being able to influence her, so it's important to also find other channels. If you (or others) are sharing your good ideas only with her, how about broadening your communication web? Share solutions to business problems more broadly, including with other influential people at your company.