'The sooner, the better': Here's what to look for in a funeral plan in Minnesota

The coronavirus pandemic drove many people to seek out new ways and new places to relieve stress.

Workers at Lakewood Cemetery, the largest in Minneapolis, started noticing more visitors at the outset of the pandemic in 2020. Its park-like setting between two of the city's largest lakes attracted people who wanted a sense of peace at an uncertain time.

At times, it also led people to think about their own death.

"We're like a park but we're more reverent," said Kelly Leahy, director of family services at Lakewood. "All of a sudden, you're in a cemetery and think, 'What are my plans? Who's going to be left to care for my body and my final affairs?'"

Leahy even got some calls from people as they were walking around the cemetery. Her message was simple: It's never too early to plan your own funeral.

"The sooner, the better," Leahy said. "It's an act of support and love for those who are handling the final affairs after a death."

Making funeral plans in advance benefits those who are left to grieve by simplifying many things. Pre-planning a funeral involves making difficult personal and financial choices. Death expenses can easily top $10,000.

"We plan for everything," said Carrie McGhee, an instructor in the mortuary science program at the University of Minnesota. "We plan for weddings. We plan for anniversaries. But the ultimate party we don't plan for, and that doesn't make sense."

Conversations can begin with options for disposition of one's body, including burial, cremation or anatomical donation. Emerging alternatives described as "green" include alkaline hydrolysis, also known as water-based cremation.

Funeral directors also can discuss options for paying in advance or arranging to have funds in place with an irrevocable funeral insurance trust. An advance directive can name an agent to make decisions regarding services or to carry out one's wishes.

Making advance arrangements has accelerated for some of the state's funeral homes, directors say, with mortality frequently in the news as the COVID-19 pandemic accounted for more than 13,000 deaths in Minnesota and a million-plus nationally.

"If we remove a lot of that stress from the time of death, emotional stress or financial stress, it allows [survivors] to really invest their time in their emotional grief," said Brian Dingmann, president of the Minnesota Funeral Directors Association.

Dingmann, whose family has been in funeral service for more than a century, recommends developing funeral plans as part of an estate plan, as he and his wife did when they first had children. Young couples who may be paying for term life insurance policies may decide to wait to pre-fund their funerals.

People in their 50s usually have more financial options with "payment plans that aren't astronomically priced." Those in their 70s can still find payment plans, but they likely won't be as affordable.

Properly structured pre-funded funeral accounts are sheltered for medical assistance, Dingmann said. The funds go in a trust, are owned by a purchaser and typically grow tax-free in a special type of bank account or life insurance policy. Most importantly, the funds are available immediately at the time of need.

Pre-planning also can help save on expenses.

"Most people generally will spend less on themselves when they pre-arrange than their family will at the time, left to their own devices," Dingmann said. "Spending more on a casket or an urn or something like that that doesn't reflect anything of who we are. You can look at those different options and see what meets your requirements within your budget."

Dingmann Funeral Care, with locations in Annandale, Kimball and Maple Lake, has seen a big increase in people making pre-arrangements in the last year. Many apparently put off pre-planning during the peak of the pandemic to avoid meeting in person, which Dingmann said is the best way to handle pre-planning.

"I believe we will see a steady increase in pre-arrangements just because of the baby boomers," Dingmann said. "A lot of those people are in that prime age to be doing this. They're at that retirement age, and that's the optimal age to be looking at doing it, right at retirement."

Those going into hospice care or people estranged from family members or without immediate family are encouraged to consider pre-planning their funeral.

Michael LuBrant, director of the U's mortuary science program, recommended that people making funeral plans spell out what they want in their services as well. "Giving a little bit more direction can be very helpful for survivors," he said.

An advance directive can name an agent who will have legal authority to make decisions regarding disposition of one's body, LuBrant said. The document also can include details about whether one wants a burial or cremation and has other preferences for a service.

Douglas Stolt, a graduate of the U's mortuary science program, learned about the importance of pre-planning while first working as a funeral director. A licensed funeral director and pre-planning specialist, Stolt left his work as a funeral director to start his own company to help people pre-plan their funerals.

Stolt now is regional manager for Great Western Insurance Co., covering Iowa, Minnesota, North Dakota, South Dakota and Wisconsin. When a funeral or cremation director discuss costs as part of an arrangement conference, they also can describe pre-payment options with funeral insurance companies such as Great Western.

He said consumers should look for plans that include cost protection, immediate access to funds in a properly structured account and portability of prepaid funds should one move to another state.

With his regional perspective, Stolt sees a rise in the percentage of families choosing cremation or alkaline hydrolysis. Many who choose those options still bury, or inurn, the remains of loved ones to have somewhere to memorialize and remember them.

The pandemic adversely affected funeral planning, with people unable to share their wishes with loved ones and survivors unable to share their grief, Stolt said. He said many survivors who experienced a death during the pandemic without a funeral plan in place do not want their loved ones to go through the same uncertainty.

"We've desensitized everything, other aspects of living, except for dying," the U's McGhee said. "I don't think there should be any mystery or fear about it. I mean, death is going to come to us all."