We grade 12 Minnesota fast-food fish sandwiches

It’s the season of Lenten fish fries, and while sitting down for a fish dinner can be a delicious way to spend a Friday night, sometimes schedules, time and finances dictate mealtime decisions.

With that in mind, we went on a fishing expedition to find the best fish sandwiches at 12 local fast-food restaurants.

There were surprises both good (spicy breading!) and bad (lettuce way past its prime). And there were revelations, such as a minute too long or short in a fryer can make or break a sandwich, tartar sauce shouldn’t be an afterthought, not all breading is created equal, location matters, and beer is a welcome accompaniment — at least according to the intern.

A few notes: Prices listed are for the regular cost of a combo meal (fries and a drink), and do not reflect Lenten specials. And for the sake of convenience and our stomachs, we did not include fast-food restaurants that weren’t prolific across the metro area, Long John Silver’s and Hardee’s among them.

Here are our findings in alphabetical order. And in case you’re wondering, we definitely caught our limit.

Price: $9.69

Nicole: Sometimes cheese sauce is a great thing, sometimes it’s better to save it for nachos. In this case, I’d argue the latter. I appreciated the good fish fillet-to-bun ratio and fresh lettuce. The pollock patty had a nice crunch on the outside, but was tough and dry on the inside. And while Arby’s loves its sauces — high praise for the Horsey sauce — the cheese overpowered the tartar sauce, and everything else. Next time I’d order the Crispy Fish, not the Fish ‘N Cheddar, so I can choose my own sauciness. Grade: C-

Spencer: This is the most forgettable sandwich I ate. There was nothing particularly bad about it, but nothing particularly good about it, either. I appreciated that it wasn’t too wet on the inside like some fish sandwiches tend to be, and the tartar sauce had a bit of a zing to it, but the sandwich overall was just serviceable. Grade: C+

Price: $9.99, small combo

Nicole: The Fish n' Crisp was a mixed bag. Served with pickles, lettuce and tartar sauce, the fillet to bun ratio was good, and the brioche bun was tasty but really cold, which threw the sandwich off. The tartar sauce was pickle-forward but very sweet. The fish patty did have a nice crunch and actually tastes like fish (that’s important) with a firm flaky texture. Consider it average, but with the possibility of onion rings. Grade: C+

Spencer: I legitimately thought they put mayonnaise on this sandwich instead of tartar sauce. It was tartar sauce, but was some of the most bland, tasteless tartar sauce I’ve ever had the displeasure of ingesting. The sandwich itself was a disappointment, too. It seemed like they shoved the fish into the breading. It wasn’t crispy and left me hungry. Grade: D

Prices: $10.39-$11.59

Nicole: If you like a lot of breading, your first stop should be Culver’s cod and walleye sandwiches. The North Atlantic cod sandwich is a super-thick fillet, served with a wisp (too wispy) of grated Wisconsin cheddar and crisp lettuce. The bun-to-fillet ratio was on point; however, the tartar sauce wasn’t flavorful or plentiful. The hand-battered walleye sandwich, a Lenten special, was incredibly filling and served with the special recipe tartar sauce and lettuce. In both cases, the buttered, toasted hoagie bun was great; the batter overpowered the fish taste, but underneath were solid pieces of fish. I’d expect nothing less from a Wisconsin company. Grades: cod B-, walleye B.

Spencer: I’m a pretty simple guy. I like batter, and I like fish that actually feels like solid meat when you bite into it. Culver’s delivers exactly that. It won’t blow you out of the water, but if that’s what you’re looking for from fast-food fish, you have your own problems to work through. A great sandwich that leaves you satiated — what more do you need? Grade: A for the cod sandwich; I missed the walleye.

Price: $9.19 for a meal

Nicole: Invented in 1962, the Filet-O-Fish is the granddaddy of fish sandwiches, but unlike a fine wine, it hasn’t aged well. The fillet (wild-caught Alaskan pollock) is too small for the bun, and the texture is one-note, with not much crisp to the fillet. At least the slice of American cheese added “flavor.” I started to wish for a handful of crisp lettuce for some texture, but in a mass-produced setting that could go downhill real fast. The beacon: Like its mayo, McDonald’s tartar sauce doesn’t disappoint. Grade: D+

Spencer: I can’t speak to the history of the Filet-O-Fish, but I can tell you its contemporary adaptation is an affront to the palate. Perhaps indicative of the descent of McDonald’s as an institution, the Filet-O-Fish melts in your mouth, but not in a good way. The batter isn’t crispy, and my sandwich had the consistency of gruel in the middle. The tartar sauce was all right. Grade: D-

Price: $9.95, fish and fries

Nicole: This locally owned chain cooks to order, so the Atlantic cod fillet was shatteringly crisp, providing the crunch that can be missing in run-of-the-mill fish sandwiches. The option to add lettuce was a bonus — more texture! — but a slice of cheese was an extra 75 cents. While it definitely was a worthy addition, it would be fine without. Proving that details matter, a freshly toasted bun can turn a good sandwich into a great one. My only nit: The tartar sauce wasn’t pickly enough for my taste. Grade: A-

Spencer: Off the bat, My Burger gets a boost as the only spot where I could also get a beer. As a college student, that goes a long way. The sandwich itself is solid, but nothing extraordinary. A common pitfall of the sandwiches on this list is a lack of consistency in the fish patty, and this one is no different. The batter is crispy and satisfying to bite into, but the fish gets a bit overwhelming in the middle. Overall, a solid sandwich. Get a beer and the fries, which are among the best from any fast-food joint. Grade: C+

Price: $9.99

Nicole: Another surprise! The flounder fillet is a Lenten special at this chicken-centric restaurant. Get the spicy version to perk up your taste buds (no, it’s not too spicy). With pickles and decent tartar sauce, the sandwich is very dilly, which means there’s actually flavor. The patty was flaky, meaty and tender, and actually tastes like fish. I’ve learned to appreciate that. Grade: B+

Spencer: I wasn’t expecting this one to be as good as it was, but I suppose I should’ve expected Popeyes to know a thing or two about batter. I said before that a good, crispy batter is an easy way into my heart, and this proves it. Every crunchy bite I took made me angry at all the soft, sad sandwiches I’d had before it. The tartar sauce was solid, and the pickles added a nice extra dimension to the sandwich. Grade: B+

Price: $13.37

Nicole: Where has Portillo’s been all my life? Not in the south metro, that’s for sure. This sleeper hit of a sandwich was perfectly crispy on the outside and tender, flaky breaded wild-caught haddock on the inside. Served on a fluffy brioche bun, it’s topped with crunchy lettuce and American cheese, and finally some tartar sauce with tang. It was a gloriously messy sandwich. Sure, it felt odd to not get Chicago dogs or Italian beefs from this Chicago-based chain, but we corrected course with a piece of the famous chocolate cake. Grade: A-

Spencer: Full disclosure: This sandwich is losing points because of the mess it made in my car. You could attribute that to user error, and you’d likely be correct, but these are my rules. The sandwich was absolutely drenched in sauce, which was a good choice because it was some of the best tartar sauce I had. The only issue with that was that it compromised the bun’s structural integrity. If the sandwich weren’t as good as it was, I wouldn’t have allowed myself to become covered in fish and tartar sauce. Grade: B

Price: $10.99

Nicole: For those who love a lot of crunch, this is your sandwich. Keeping with Wendy’s everything-square philosophy is the wild-caught Alaskan pollock fish patty topped with a slice of American cheese. It’s thin compared with other sandwiches on this list, but it makes up for it in flavor. The exterior is super crispy thanks to the panko crust, and pickles (a nice addition) and lettuce add to the crunchy party. The dill tartar sauce was flavorful; pickle lovers will enjoy this sandwich. Bonus points for Wendy’s sustainability practices. And if the Thin Mint frosty is still on the menu, order it. Grade: B+

Spencer: Perhaps I went to the wrong Wendy’s, but this sandwich was almost inedible. It seemed compelling when it was handed to me through the drive-thru window, but after a few bites, I’d had all I could take. Perhaps this one drew the short stick being one of the last sandwiches I ate in a week of feasting on fish, but this sandwich made me angry. Grade: D

Price: $9.29

Nicole: I confess, this is the first time I’ve eaten at White Castle, and I was pleasantly surprised. The petite wild Alaskan pollock sliders were freshly fried, so they were crispy. The smaller size allows for the exterior crunchiness and interior tenderness without being overcooked. It’s topped with American cheese, and tartar sauce comes in packets on the side, which was preferable because it was too sweet. The bun had all the signs of being microwaved, so lacked structure. It’s like a mini version of the fish sandwich you remember from school lunch, in a good way. Grade: B

Spencer: If there is only one White Castle defender left on Earth, I am him. White Castle has been getting a bad rap for years, and I’m sick of it. The fish sliders are small, crispy, cheap and tasty. The size of the patty makes the sandwich work because it is too small to become a soupy mess like some of the sandwiches on this list. The tartar sauce is nothing special, but it adds just that little kick the sandwich needs to get over the line. And grab some mozzarella sticks while you’re there; they are a fried-dairy addiction. Grade: A-

This is where the paths of food writer and intern diverge: Food writer hits three more fast-food joints; intern goes on spring break.

Price: $8.99

Nicole: A thick, crunchy triangle-shaped fillet of wild-caught Alaskan pollock was an above-average piece of fish, flaky, tasty and fried to order. (Caution when taking a bite, it’s HOT.) Tartar sauce was above average in flavor, and the addition of lettuce is always appreciated … except when it is past its prime, as it was on my visit. Cheese isn’t included, nor is it missed. Bonus points for being able to choose onion rings or cheese curds (for a 99-cent upcharge) instead of fries, and leaving with an ice cream treat is never a bad idea. Come for the Blizzard, stay for the fish sandwich. Grade: B

Price: $2.99, sandwich only

Nicole: My family has long sung the praises of Kwik Trip food, and I once listened to two prominent Twin Cities chefs wax poetic about it for 10 minutes. Including them was a must. I ordered my fish sandwich ahead on the app to ensure availability and freshness. It comes with American cheese but without tartar sauce, so be sure to grab/order packets if that’s important. The fish (pollock) was sizeable and crunchy (yay!) but on our visit didn’t have a ton of flavor (boo). My biggest complaint is the bun — it tastes on the sweet side and overpowers everything. Cannot argue the suburban convenience, though, and their soft pretzel is one of my guilty pleasures. Grade: C

Price: $7.79

Nicole: For a place built for dashboard dining, the fish sandwich is incredibly messy. The Alaskan pollock fillet is served with pickles, lettuce and plenty of tartar. The texture of the breading was grainy like sand and I wasn’t a fan — it couldn’t contain the fish, which made the sandwich even messier. The fish itself had decent flake, if you could get at it. After years of chauffeuring kids in youth sports, eating in the car ceased to be a novelty. This didn’t change my mind. Grade: D+