Ask Amy: Facial bruises look suspicious

Dear Amy: I have been going to a hairstylist for three years. She is a delightful young woman with a 4-year-old son and a live-in partner.

The first time I met her, she had severe bruises on her face and explained that she was hit by a ball during a softball game. I believed her. A few months ago, she again had facial bruises and said she had tripped over her little boy. At my next appointment, she had more bruises, with another explanation about falling over her son.

I have never noticed scrapes or bruises on her hands (had she tried to break her fall). I'm worried that something else is going on: domestic violence or alcohol abuse. I have no evidence beyond my suspicions, and wonder if I should ask more. If so, what do I say?

Amy says: The next time you are in, you could leave a note, along with your tip. Say, "I've been worried about some of the injuries you've sustained. If someone is hurting you, there is help. You can contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at thehotline.org, or text the Crisis Text Line at 741-741."

Dear Amy: My wife and I got married in Tuscany two years ago. We had a small guest list of immediate family and our closest friends.

When we hand-delivered our "save the dates," we said we understood that a trip to Italy was a big ask, even with four days of food and lodging provided, and that we understood if people couldn't make the trip.

Circumstances prevented two of my friends and their spouses from being able to attend. A third friend, "Donny," informed me in the most hurtful way that he and his wife "Linda" would not be making the trip because they had other priorities. One of the specific priorities he mentioned was a drinking trip with another couple.

Linda thought I was upset simply because they did not attend the wedding, and she informed me I needed to do something to fix the relationship. She implied that if I don't put in the effort, it will never get this fixed because Donny bottles up everything.

I do not feel that I should be the one to fix this. Donny has never acknowledged the hurtful things he said (which is all I want).

After two years, I still wonder if I should just sweep this all under the rug in order to save a friendship of over 20 years, or if some friendships are only for a season, even if it is a very long season?

Amy says: I believe that the way to discern if the season for this friendship has passed is to address the affront directly. You should tell Donny exactly what bothers you and why it bothers you. His reaction will tell you where you stand regarding the future of your friendship.

Send questions to Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com.